Eastward Bound – Days 2 & 3

Fri. 8/10/2018

6:08 a.m. – We settled in amongst a group of campers last night thinking we would be safer if our numbers were greater. The group was quite welcoming but a little quirky as they were quite adamant that we set up camp at the end of the line so that we didn’t “cut” anyone. Though I explained that I had no knife nor any ill-will towards these group of campers and thought it would be much more friendly like of we grouped our tents in a circle, they wouldn’t budge as they wanted to be the first in line for some sort of festival the next day. This morning, as we were preparing to continue our journey east, our new camping friends asked us where we were going and warned us that if we left our place in line we wouldn’t get close to he front of the day’s Pear Jam festival. On account of these fine folks enthusiasm and on account of my strong affinity of jams of all sorta but particularly pear jam, I managed to convince my wife that we should stay as we may be able to get some fine jellies to take home and show off to the neighbors.

11:42 p.m.- Hoodwinked! After standing in lines all day (some line to buy merchandise with the name of the festival on it, some to be let into the vast compound in which the festival was to be held) we, at this late moment, have come to realize that this festival has nothing to do with jam, pear or otherwise, but instead, we were just told, that it is a festival celebrating some traveling musicians whose music was described to is as “grudge”. While I couldn’t rightfully describe to you the sound of grudge music, or detail what sorts of grudges these fellas are holding and against who and/or what, I can say that my family and I did find ourselves tapping our toes and dancing a bit of a jig more often than not (particularly while standing in line to use the outhouse).

The excitement for the pear jam festival is quite evident.

Sat. 8/11/2018

1:07 a.m. – Still nursing a bit of disappointment for not having obtained some pear jam and having spent way too much of our savings on shirts, stickers, posters and buttons with the name of the grunge band on it, we made our way back to our camp ground only to find that all of our fellow campers were no longer there. While I was looking forward to finding out what place in line we would be, it was sorta nice to put up our tent wherever we wanted and fall asleep to the sound of whistle trains and various sirens.

9:00 a.m. – After being prodded rather roughly to pack up our gear by the local sheriff, we once again began our journey to Yellerstone.

12:25 p.m. – We have gone -5.4 miles as our little one wanted to ride a ferret wheel. Why this city built and allows for folks to ride this giant ferret wheel, I’ll never understand, but we have no choice but to ride it.

12:33 p.m. – The ferret wheel has brought on a sudden attack as my fear of heights reared its ugly head. In order to calm myself and not think about how easily I could fall from this wheel and be crushed to death, I focused on the impressive amount of bird poop that you could see on top of the restaurants around the wheel. It truly was a sight and, if it been anyway possible, I would have added to the collection when the cage we were in starting shaking most violently.

Bird poop

4:43 p.m. – Just awoke after, apparently, passing out from the trauma of the ferret wheel. My wife has sped us out Seattle and into the interior of the state of Washington. I was told that the Snoqualmie Pass was quite the sight!

5:32 p.m. – At last! After all we have been through on this trip, it was all worth it as I caught my first site of Yellerstone! The beauty rendered me helpless to stop the tears that rolled down my face. It is truly exquisite and, due to the fact that we made such good time, we should be back home in time to watch the first week of regular season football.

5:33 p.m. – I was wrong.

Tell me this doesn’t look like how you imagined Yellerstone to look.

6:31 p.m. – After driving us 286 miles my wife, lovingly allows us to visit a local watering hole in Spokane so as to soothe the disappointment of not having made it to Yellerstone yet and the terrible suffering I experienced at the ferret wheel.

9:32 p.m. – My wife, apparently, doesn’t want to drive us anymore and so is making us set up camp here at some fancy hotel. I had no choice but to go along with the idea and so sold off much of the pear jam merchandise that we had purchased the night before to pay for the hotel.

Categories: Humor, Travel

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