It is with much sadness that I must report a rumor that has surfaced claiming that the NFL may be on the verge of losing yet another one of its longtime greats. As a Bears fan it was particularly hard to write about Brian Urlacher’s retirement last week but the possibility of Tim “The Toolman” Tebow calling it quits after such a storied career has touched an entirely different nerve inside me.
It isn’t that I’m necessarily a fan of Tim “I Invented Tebow-ing” Tebow but having watched him play on one occasion I know that the NFL will never see another QB quite like him. This may sound overly dramatic but if you’ve seen the way Tim “Can’t-I-Just-Run-the-Ball-Instead-of-Throwing-it?” Tebow threw such razor-sharp passes to a spot where no one could possibly catch the ball then you know what I mean. If you’ve seen Tim “I’m-Really-Good-in-the-Fourth-Quarter-Because-the-Defense-Is-Winded-From-Laughing-So-Hard-at-All-of-the-Passes-I’ve-Thrown-in-the-First-Three-Quarters” Tebow sacrifice his body in order to make room for Mark Sanchez on the bench then you know what I mean. If you’ve ever seen Tim “Rex-Grossman-is-Still-Playing-but-I-Can’t-Get-a-Job-on-a-Team’s-Practice-Squad?” Tebow rush up the middle for a half-a-yard three times in a row because his coach didn’t want him to throw the ball then you know what I mean.
I feel confident in standing with the billions of Tebow-ites around the world in saying that if this rumor is true the NFL will sorely miss seeing the greatest quarterback ever named Tim Tebow playing on Sundays (Or Thursday, Saturday & Monday for that matter).