A faithful reader sent me a link today (http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2013/02/27/beer-drinkers-make-case-that-anheuser-busch-waters-down-brews/) regarding an obvious abuse of our legal system in the form of a class-action lawsuit against the great American beer company Anheuser-Bush for allegedly watering down their beer. It is disturbing to hear such allegations leveled at a company that has done nothing but make really funny commercials for the last thirty or so years.

While I find it hard to believe that the beloved beechwood-aged brews are actually beers, I find it even harder to believe that they are maliciously being watered down. My disbelief was such that I’ve spent much time researching this and stumbled upon a little known fact regarding Anheuser’s beers. It seems that there was a time (before prohibition) that they made actual beer but after converting to a water purifying plant during the dry-spell someone forgot to actually start brewing beer again upon the repeal of prohibition. And so it has been until recently when an employee was drinking an actual beer on the job and, in an unfortunate accident, spilled it into the water leading people who drink Bud, etc to wonder why their beer had a taste to it. This inevitably led to droves of Bud product drinkers discovering beers that had flavor, color and, surprisingly, were enjoyable to drink. The lesser breweries such as, Stone Brewing Company, Dogfish Head and Rogue Brewing Company have reaped the benefits of this unhappy accident; an unfortunate circumstance in that these microbreweries concentrate solely on making good beer rather than funny commercials.

My fear now is that the same fate may befall the other great American beer company SAB-MillerCoors. If for example, a worker accidentally put real hops in Miller Lite where brewers currently just hop up and down three times while brewing their triple-hopped beer it may lead people to find that they like the taste of hops and begin drinking a nice hoppy IPA from their local microbrew which, undoubtedly, does not make funny commercials.

As you can see it is imperative that this lawsuit is defeated in order to preserve funny beer commercials for generations to come, so please join me in doing something to help defeat this lawsuit or be prepared to live with the fact that you will be responsible for promoting good beer being made in America rather than funny frog, dog and twins commercials. Like Spike Lee said, Do the right thing, or was it Mo Better Blues…I can never remember.

Categories: Beer, Humor

Tags: Beer