Independent Audit: A Disaster Film

I’ve always wanted to write a screenplay. I’ve had a lot of ideas but none have come to fruition thus far. With the Memorial Day weekend having just past I’ve been inspired, yet again, to write a screenplay but I need your help deciding whether or not I should pursue this endeavor. What follows is my synopsis of: Independent Audit: A Disaster Film – let me know what you think…

Independent Audit: A Disaster Film

Nothing ever exciting happened at BlahBlahBlah Inc. nothing exciting until this year’s audit began. BlahBlahBlah had been audited every year since it began 8 years ago but this time was different. The auditors were different. Their methods were different. Their request for brains was different.

Jonathan had just been hired as the controller at BlahBlahBlah, and was excited for the opportunity to show off not only his accounting skills but also his leadership skills. Jonathan had graduated at the top of his class at the University of Paymealotfornothing, and had worked his way up the accounting ladder for the last five years. Besides his career, Jonathan wanted to propose to his girlfriend, Kennedy, but needed a larger income to give her the wedding that she required. When the opportunity at BlahBlahBlah, Inc was presented to him he didn’t hesitate to jump at the chance to – this was his chance to achieve his goals, professionally and personally. Despite the fact that the interview process gave Jonathan an uneasy feeling, the salary that they offered was too much to turn down. He accepted. He proposed (she said yes!). He had no idea what he was getting himself into.

BlahBlahBlah Inc., seemed like a normal place to work; his team was great and upper management was, well, upper management. Jonathan was now engaged to Kennedy and he was in a position that he had striven for.Then the audit engagement letter arrived, and nothing would be the same again.

The annual audit for BlahBlahBlah, Inc., was to begin in a week and nobody seemed concerned. Other than Jonathan, they had been through it before and everyone, including Jonathan, felt confident that this audit would be no big deal.. This time the audit would be a big deal and Jonathan would have to decide if the ends to pass justified the means.

When the auditors arrived, everyone in Jonathan’s team changed. They grew hostile. They wear their visors backwards. They grow fangs. Jonathan, not knowing what to do, tries to keep the peace between the, suddenly, hairy auditors, and his newly-fanged accounting team.

As the audit continued the tension between the ever-increasing hairy auditors and the seemingly blood-thirsty accounting crew increased to the point where Jonathan believed actual violence might break out between the two groups,

A question was asked by the auditor in a snarl-growling sort-of-way.

A replay was given by his accounting team in a weird sort-of-Germanic accent.

Jonathan wondered what he had gotten himself into.

The journal entries were produced at an every increasing pace and with a hateful fury. The auditors hunched further over with every request; their canine teeth protruding at an unbelievable rate. It was a war. A war between team Auditor and team Accountant.

Jonathan didn’t want any part of this unholy battle but couldn’t extricate himself from it if he wanted to give Kennedy the wedding he had promised her. As the battle began in earnest, Jonathan realized that he was in no position to lead this group, yet, his fear of failure brought out a part of him he had never known; he was a leader, a warrior. He would die for his accounting team or at least lead them through this horror of an audit in order to gain a better bonus.

As the carnage ensued, Jonathan requests a meeting with the leader of the hairy auditors, Joanna, in hopes to come to a truce; a compromise. Joanna agrees and she and Jonathan head to a local bar to hash out their differences. While Jonathan’s intentions were good, he finds himself caught up in a web he never intended – he likes Joanna, and not just in a friendly accountant/auditor way. As Jonathan falls under Joanna’s sway he not only stops fighting for his accounting team but begins to sabotage them in any way he can in order to please Joanna.

Jonathan’s accounting crew, with the help of his fiance, Kennedy, put together a last-ditch effort to regain Jonathan’s allegiance and love. As they work to remind Jonathan of how much they all admire him (or love him in the case of Kennedy) his attachment to Joanna lessens, but will it lessen enough to sway the battle?

As Jonathan learns the plot from Joanna (the audit of BlahBlahBlah is just the beginning of their goal towards world domination), he realizes that he must stand his ground. Will Jonathan lose his life in order to maintain the balance between accountant and auditor? Will he succumb to his attraction to Joanna? Will Jonathan remember his love for his accounting team and Kennedy?

The fate of his career, his relationship, his department as well as the world, rest on Jonathan’s shoulders. With the help of his team, his fiance and a secret weapon (the SEC), Jonathan leads his team to victory over the auditors via silver-tipped #2 pencils and, in a pride he had never felt before in his life, declares this day, “Our Independent Audit Day!!!”

Categories: Accounting, Humor

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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